What your Starbucks order says about you

This is pretty funny. You plug in your regular drink from Starbucks, and the oracle tells you about yourself.

I plugged in my favorite, a grande soy chai tea latte and it gave me this:

Personality type: Hippie
In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks grande soy chai tea latte should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.
Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities

I then plugged in L.'s favorite drink, a grande vanilla bean frappacino:

Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks grande vanilla bean frappacino.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

And my mom's drink, a simple tall Americano:

Personality type: Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink tall americano are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better

I have to say that I would never have thought to call myself a hippie, L. lame, or my mom an asshat before consulting the Starbucks oracle.