Friday, July 10, 2009

Useless media coverage

You know, I do understand the impact that Michael Jackson had on music. And I do think that it's sad that he died fairly young, even though it seemed like his life was rather riddled with turmoil. But since his death, I can't turn on the TV without there being some "media" outlet speculating about every flippin' thing around his death, from where his body actually is to all of the details of his will and the DNA of his children. Now his dermatologist is on the news reporting about his cosmetic procedures. I'm not sure about much, but I don't think I'd want to take credit for work on that face. I'm just sayin'... I'm hoping that the coverage dies down a bit soon so that we can go back to a normal existence, if there ever was one.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Spinsters

Last night, I was working late at the office when the janitor, W., came by. He's a friendly, cheerful fellow from China and although a bit tough to understand at times, he sure likes to chat. One of my favorite things he does is ask me whether he can empty the waste basket and recycling bin in my office. I always want to chuckle, but he asks it so seriously as though I might put up a fight that he's carting away the trash, and as I don't want to offend him, I always answer back cheerfully, "yes, please do. Thank you!"

Recently, I've been working late quite a bit as I try to finish up stuff for my last job and ramp up for my new one. So, W. has made an effort to get to know me better, since our paths are crossing quite frequently now. I also suppose that as a night-time janitor it is nice to have some human contact in an otherwise lonely building.

Our conversation last night included how to correctly pronounce my name and whether I was married and had children. I told him that I was indeed married for just under a year, but did not have children. When asked how old I was, I answered 31.

This got him to talking about his daughter, who is 30 and unmarried. More than that, she does not have a boyfriend or love interest. This is of great concern to W. He worries that she is becoming a spinster, and discussed the tragedy of older women who are unable to find mates. He is working hard and wants to bring her here to find a husband, because he wants her to be happy. This got me to thinking about the single guys who work late in our building. I'm curious whether W. has tried telling them about his daughter in the hopes that she might land a software engineer. I can only imagine the conversation, but it makes me smile.

Anyway, I tried telling him that it will happen if it's meant to be, but I'm not sure my meaning came across. I realize that my attitude is probably different than a lot of people, Chinese or not, especially considering that I told my own (current) husband that I didn't have a need to get remarried after my divorce and that I find kids to be a kind of take-it-or-leave it proposition. But I found it sweet that this woman has a father who is so concerned about her, especially from a country where women are not prized and female babies are often given up or killed in order to try and procure a son. It was clear that his concern was not just cultural, but caring. He wants her to be happy and have a family, and I can only hope that it will happen for her if it's in the cards and her wish as well.

Crack me up

L. and I saw this awhile back on SNL and I about spit water through my nose. We got to talking about it again, so I looked it up and enjoyed it all over again.



"Yes, that is bad..."

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Moving along

So, things have been getting a bit better again. I went to Chicago last week/end for a few days for my grandma's funeral, and it was difficult (as was expected) but also somewhat fun (totally unexpected). The difficult part was saying goodbye to grandma and trying to work through the feelings that I had about her passing and my failure to visit her more often, especially in the end. But the fun part was seeing some family that I hadn't seen in many years and realizing that there are people related to me who I hardly even know. My aunt, A., and cousin, H., came down from Minnesota for the funeral, and I hadn't seen them in probably 16-17-ish years. Since I was pre-teen brat at that point, and my cousin was about 5-6 years younger, I recall not really liking her that much because we had nothing in common.

This time around, it was different because we are both older and wiser, and had in common the passing of our grandmother. We stayed in a hotel in De Kalb and spent a lot of time catching up and learning about one another again, and it was really nice to hear about her and her brothers (who could not make it, unfortunately). We left this time promising to stay in better touch and not let years go by before we meet up again.

Grandma's funeral and burial were nice. My dad did a great job pulling everything together, and we were thankful that the funeral home provided a limo and driver to take us between the service and her burial site 45 minutes away. It gave us the necessary time to process what we experienced at the service and her viewing, before laying her to rest. The pastor rode with us in the limo, and we had a nice chat with her about her experience becoming a pastor so late in life. After the burial, we went over to a cousin's house in Marseilles for drinks and food, and had a nice time catching up with everyone who came. All in all, it was a nice day and something that I'm sure that grandma would have loved. We had many wonderful stories to tell about her and how much of an impact she had on us all. She will be missed dearly.

I'm still working through some of the grief and guilt. I met with my counselor yesterday and have been praying a lot. Somehow, this has hit me in a way I wasn't quite expecting. But I'm getting through it and I'm thankful for everyone who sent cards or emails and comments to let me know that I'm in their thoughts and prayers.