If I had a hammer

This totally cracks me up. I got mail from the Handyman Club of America today inviting me to become an official member of their club. Of course it was addressed to "Mr." instead of "Ms.", but oh well.

But, why me? Well, according to their letter:

"It's no secret among your friends and family that you are an outstanding handyman. As someone who is passionately devoted to do-it-yourself home improvement and maybe even woodworking, you're exactly the kind of person our Club is always looking for."

Oh yes. I am soooo dedicated to DIY home improvement and maybe even woodworking. And I am outstanding. In fact, I changed the handle on my own toilet just yesterday! These people know me so well.

And reading further into their letter, I am pleased to see that I wasn't just picked out of a barrel to be nominated for this prestigious club. Oh no. They tell me that "It's not for lukewarm handymen! Nor is it for the kind of handymen who are content with doing things in the same old way. This Club is for do-it-yourselfers who constantly want to learn more. To improve their skills. To deepen their understanding. To express their creativity. To expand their knowledge."

And the best part? I don't even need to send money right now! The membership dues are so low that they'll just bill me later if I respond to this letter.

You know, the funny part is that it took me awhile to figure out how I got this thing in the first place. I mean, I'm used to getting all kinds of catalogs based on the online shopping that I do, and occasionally I get a catalog that just baffles me. But this is completely out of the ordinary. I think I probably got it from going to the Seattle Home Show and filling out the form to get the This Old House magazine for free for one year with my paid admission to the show.

Oh well. The executive director of this Club was kind enough to send some preliminary gifts for me with the letter including a drill bit guide, a notepad, a toolbox label, address labels (complete with the Handyman logo), and utility box labels (with stickers for up to 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms).

Oh well, it's the thought that counts. If I were actually someone used my tools for things more complicated than hanging a picture or a curtain rod, this might make sense. But alas, I am not. After having lived through the kitchen remodel with my ex-husband (most of which we completed ourselves), I can honestly say that some things are worth paying a little extra for to help save your sanity and relationship.