House flipping

As L. can attest to, I'm addicted to court shows and home decorating shows. Lately, I've been watching a lot of shows about flipping houses, where you buy a property in need of updates and renovate it, then sell it for a big profit (hopefully).

The one thing that is almost always blown is the schedule. Some of the flippers are actually pretty good at budgeting, but others totally blow the money aspect as well. Blowing the schedule and blowing the budget equal a pretty bad flip (usually).

When my ex-husband and I bought our house, the kitchen was horribly out of date. The rest of the house needed little things here and there, but the kitchen was really awful. C. and I planned to do it ourselves with a little help from our friends who were into construction work. Our original plan was to do everything in a week, so we took the time off and started demolition. A little over a month later, things were finally coming to an end (both with the house and with us). But, we did stick to the budget pretty well.

I learned a few things during that project. Perhaps the most important is that you have to be really realistic about the schedule. We were depending on different friends for different areas of expertise (such as electrical, plumbing, cabinet work, etc.) and all of them had different time constraints. Some had family responsibilities, and others had school or finals. However, it helped us a lot monetarily to not have to pay for labor, so that was where it paid off. I think you either have to budget enough for the labor or for extra time. The two don't seem to work well together when you reduce both. In the end, we took everyone out for a big dinner with plenty of drinks to thank them for the help. And the kitchen turned out beautiful. I was really happy with my design ideas, and when we sold it, the buyers told me that the thing that really sold them was the kitchen.

When L. asked me if I was interested in flipping houses, I thought about it for a minute and then pretty much said no. It would have to be a very specific kind of project for me to want to do that again. It was really stressful, and although there were several other things going on with our marriage, the renovation surely didn't help things much. Even without that in the mix, it's a big commitment both in time and money. The only way I'd want to do it is if I were given a budget from someone who wanted my design expertise. I'd be more than happy to come up with a plan, find the materials, and put that part of it together. So, I guess that means that I'd really just be happy being a designer. So, maybe in another part of my life I'll think about that. But for now, the writing is working out well.

A couple of weekends ago, L. and I watched one show where I was actually rooting for the woman to fail. I've never actually wanted someone to fail at a project, but this woman was a complete idiot in the way that she took on the flip. First, she was very spiritual and new agey, which isn't really a problem for me except that it led her to make some extremely bad decisions along the way including letting the house "talk" to her and "guide" her in what it wanted. I'm sure that if I let my condo talk to me, I'd end up with marble floors and countertops, hardwood floors, all new appliances, a separate tub and shower, etc. These are all things that I can't afford and would frankly overimprove for the area I'm in.

Anyway, as you can imagine, this woman blew the schedule and the budget because everything got so out of hand. It was one of the worst flips that I've seen, but not because of the quality of work. She was smart enough to hire a really good contractor, but I'm amazed that he didn't walk out on her during the project after having to listen to her every day. He did actually walk out on her at Home Depot at one point because she was busy with random stuff that completely wasted his time. She was so offended, and in her defense he could have said something to her, but she probably would have been too busy "talking" to the kitchen cabinets to have heard him.

She ended up painting the place a hideous shade of yellow based on a "painting" she did in the front yard. I use the term painting very loosely because I think my 1 1/2 year-old nephew would have come up with something better. But, I digress.

In the end, I was happy because all she ended up doing was breaking even on the project. I know that sounds mean, but this is a person who has no business flipping houses. There are times that people just need to understand their own limitations and this was a huge signpost in her life. But did she decide to take note of it? No. She said that she plans to flip again. I pity the people working with her on the project, as well as the people who end up with the house.