Plantlife

For Christmas, I have received two plants from well-meaning people. The first is a fir centerpiece that holds candles and it is currently sitting on my breakfast bar. It's lovely, and luckily it's not meant to last indefinitely.

The second is an amarylis plant from my manager that's still in bulb form. Her instructions were, "just water and it will grow". I let out a little chuckle. These are probably sufficient instructions for most people, but I have a black thumb. I'll be shocked and awed if the thing actually blooms. I couldn't even get the poor plant home before it tipped over (despite my best efforts to keep it propped up and to drive extra carefully). So, I need to get to a gas station this weekend and vacuum out the potting soil from my car mat.

I'm not sure where I go wrong with plants. They are seemingly simple, as my manager's instructions point out. I always read the instructions, and try to put the plant in a good area for the light it needs and water it accordingly. But it's just not a success. This is odd, considering I come from a long line of farmers on both sides of my family and even worked on the farm when I was a kid. Come to think of it, my grandparents are lucky that I didn't kill the wheat and alfalfa just by being in proximity of the crops.

When I tell people that I have a black thumb, they're always quick to offer plants that are so simple, no one can kill them. Believe me, I can and have. My mom buys me a plant every mother's day (and for all of my sisters), and I have yet to keep one going longer than a few weeks. The only successful plant I've ever had was a lavender bush, and I think it survived a whole year in spite of me. Once I moved to a new place, it was never the same and I took it to my mom's house to recover. Plants LOVE my mom. They perk up in her presence, and she has one of the nicest yards in the summer. The plants always get depressed when she and my dad go on their summer vacation and I'm tasked with watering the flowers. As for that lavender plant, she gave it back to me once it got back on its feet and it promptly died. I think it committed suicide when it realized it was back at my house.

So, we'll see how this whole amarylis thing goes. It already had a rocky start in my car. At least they just boom once and then that's it. That's not too much pressure. If it doesn't work out, there are worse things that could happen. And as for the fir centerpiece, it will be nice over the holidays and then I can throw it out after it runs its course for the season.