Mom's 60th birthday party

Well, we had the big 60th birthday bash for my mom on Saturday. We held it at my cousin's house, because she and her husband have a large house with a nice yard that backs up to a pond and golf course. Even though the weather reports said it was going to rain all weekend, it actually turned out to be rather nice, so some people ventured outside during the party to hit golf balls and play bocce ball.

The thing that really got me was how many people showed up. We invited about 90 people altogether, and about 65 of them came. And even though it was an open house format (so people could come whenever and leave whenever) a lot of the people who came stayed most, if not all, of the time. I think it was a nice testament to the fact that my mom is very well regarded and loved by her friends and family.

It was really interesting, too, that she wore this old fake pearl necklace. I didn't think too much about it when she came in, but later that night she told the story of how my sister, P., and I made that necklace for her after our house was robbed. I was probably about 8 years old, and my sister came home from school to find the house had been broken into. The thief took all of my mom's jewelry, and all of my step dad's collectable coins. They were understandably upset, and I guess the only thing P. and I could think to do was make her some new jewelry. So, we got out our beads and made her this fake pearl necklace. I can't believe that she still has that, some 20 years later. It's funny that I didn't really remember that part. I do remember wandering around our neighborhood with P. looking for anything that we could find for clues, but all we found was a purse of a student who lived down the street from us - and who had also been robbed. Anyway, I think it's really sweet that my mom has kept that necklace all these years, and that it still means so much to her. Apparently she decided to let my niece, A., wear it because it was a special occasion, and my nephew ended up breaking it somehow. So, A. collected all of the beads, and restrung it for my mom. I was really proud of A. for doing that. She is growing up to be a very responsible young woman, and is very sensitive about such things.

But, I digress. I'm very proud of my mom. She has overcome a lot of obstacles in her life, and is very successful both in her personal life and her professional life. When I was growing up, she was fairly strict, but she knew when and how much to give for the most part. And we went through our periods of difficulty, especially in my pre-teen years, but we made it through. Whenever I made a new friend, she always made a point of going over to meet their parents, and to see what was up. When I'd stay at a friend's house, she always called to talk to their parents to make sure that I was really going where I said I was going, and to make sure that we were really going to do what I'd said we were going to do.

I was a latch-key kid early on, but she raised me to be smart and never let me get away with anything. And the funny part is that because I really respected her and understood that she held the power, I never wanted to tick her off. So, the times that I actually got in trouble were pretty few and far between, and it was always because I'd done something just plain stupid. I remember when I was 16, I went out with a few of my girlfriends on a Saturday night to see a movie. They all had later curfews than I did, but I knew that I had to be back to my friend's house in time to call my mom and let her know that we'd made it home before my curfew. Unfortunately, the movie we'd gone to see was longer than I'd thought it was going to be, and I didn't want to get in trouble - there were no excuses. Since we were heading home anyway, I decided to call her from the payphone outside the theater and lie to her that we were home. We then got back to my friend's house about 20 minutes later. Dumb me. She played along when I called her, but she already knew that I was lying. When I walked in the next morning, she reminded me that we'd just gotten caller ID on the phone and that she knew I was calling from a pay phone. I then had to explain everything and I was grounded for a week.

The only time that we've really come to blows was over my high school boyfriend, M. And truth be told, he did start out in a pretty bad way and treated me horribly. So, my parents weren't off base to not like him. But, I still think that they way that they handled things prolonged my interest in him in some ways. You know how sometimes you just get a rebellious streak, and decide that when someone tells you that you can't have something, you decide that you're going to have it no matter what? Well, that's what happened with me and M. But, these are all things that you realize in hindsight, and I had to learn my own lessons. And, I suppose they did, too. It all worked out in the end, but those were a few very long, tense years at the end of high school and beginning of college.

I don't know how she did it sometimes. Not only did she work full time, and put in a lot of overtime (because she's a teacher and now a program chair at a community college), but she was always home to make a good dinner for us and to help me with homework when I needed it. When I was about 9 years old, she delegated one night a week to me and one to my sister to make dinners, and she helped us pick out recipes so that we'd know what to get when we went grocery shopping that week. In a day and age where most people don't even sit down for a meal together, we managed to be together almost every night of the week because she made us the priority. And because of her, I never even had a TV dinner until I was about 15 years old, babysitting some kids of family friends.

I don't know what I'd ever do without her. I still talk to her a few times a week, and tell her everything. And the nice thing is that she knows me better than anyone else in the world, so she will always tell me when I'm overreacting. It's nice to have someone like that who you trust to tell you the truth, but who loves you no matter what. I hope that someday, if and when I have a child, I will have the same kind of relationship. What I have with my mom is something I'll never have with anyone else, and I think I'm the luckiest person in the world to have her as a role model.