From the mouths of babes

It never ceases to amaze me how kids will just blurt anything out of their mouths. I realize that tact is a skill you develop over time, and some people just never get it, but it still cracks me up.

Case in point: Mother's Day.

L. and I went over to my mom's house to celebrate with her and my step dad; my brother-in-law, sister, and their two kids A. and O.; and my other sister and her daughter and the daughter's fiance. We're sitting around the living room as everyone arrives, and chatting. Somehow we get onto the subject of sleep deprivation and how it most certainly shows on your face as you get older. A. and O. talk about the dark spots and bags under their parent's eyes with delight, and they are quickly reminded that while we are all joking and having fun with this conversation, many people would take offense to having such characteristics pointed out and that A. and O. should remember to think before they speak.

Fast forward a few hours, and I'm in the car with mom and my niece, A., who is turning 10 in a couple of months. We're returning from the nursery where my mom has purchased a bazillion flowers that we are going to plant back at the house. The conversation starts out a bit like this:
A.: Auntie, how old are you?
Me: I'm 29.
A.: Look of horror spreads across her face...
Me: Believe me, it's not that old. You'll be here before you know it.
A.: Thinking of a quick recovery...No, I'm just surprised that an aunt can be that young.
Me: Good recovery. Chuckles from me and my mom...
A.: Auntie, when are you and L. going to get married?
Me: Wha??? I don't know. Someday, I suppose. Why?
A.: Because it's been a long time since O. and I had an uncle.
Me: Trying to wipe the grin off of my face...I see. And do you like L.?
A.: Yes, very much. He's really nice. Much nicer than C. was.
Me: Slightly surprised...Ah. Well, that's good to know. I'll have to get on that. Wouldn't want you to be without an uncle much longer.

The funny thing is, I know for a fact that she and O. really loved C. (my ex-husband). He was really good with kids, and they'd climb all over him like a human jungle gym. And L. has fun with them, but I was surpised to hear her say that, because I know that it really hurt them, and my whole family, when C. left. So, after the next part of the conversation, I finally got what was going on.

A.: Auntie, why did C. leave you?
Me: Starting to not like where this conversation is going...Well, it's complicated. He wasn't happy, and we had some problems, so he decided to leave rather than to try and fix things. But, he's not a bad person, he just made a bad decision. Sometimes people do that.
A.: Well, I don't like him. He was mean to you. Mommy cuts him out of all of the pictures now.
Me and my mom: Trying to stiffle a giggle...
Me: Well, just know that he loved you and that his leaving had nothing to do with you. Sometimes we just mess up.
A.: Yeah. Hey, want to hear me sing the song Under the sea?
Me: Yes!

So, then the picture came together. It's very sweet really. I'll never forget the first holiday after C. left. It was Thanksgiving, and I showed up at my mom's house. My whole family was there, but I just felt so alone walking in there without C. A. and O. were playing in the back room and they rushed out to give me hugs and asked me to play a game with them, so I went back there and played for awhile. They didn't say one word about C. until the end of the evening. Then they looked up at me and said, "I miss uncle C." And I said, "Yeah, I do, too." Then the moment passed, and they went back to drawing and coloring. So, it wasn't really until this moment in the car with my mom and A. last weekend that I realized we had never talked about it. I mean, I know that my sister and brother-in-law talked to the kids about it, but they probably wanted to know straight from the horse's mouth.