What's up with the long wait list for the dermatologist?

So, I have this spot on my nose that keeps breaking out, and I decided that I should probably get it looked at. Third time is the charm in my book. I've had lots of pimples in my life, because I happen to have oily skin (thanks to my parents). But, I've never had a pimple go away and then come right back again a few times in a row. I've also never had one that hurts b/c it's just burried. Maybe it's just the particular spot on my nose, but I can definitely tell that it's there.

After talking with a friend who had a similar problem, she said she finally had to go to a dermatologist to get it taken care of. So, I got a few recommendations from people I know and all of the dermatologists were booked until early to mid October. I guess business must be good for the skin doctors. So, I have to hope that this darned thing will go away again so that I don't have to live with it until my appointment. And then hopefully the doc can do some test to figure out what the heck is going on.

I never really thought I'd have to go to a dermatologist for anything, unless I found something weird going on with a mole or something. But, it's probably a good time to go and figure out how to take good care of my skin so that I age well and don't end up with skin cancer or something.

Now, I just need to make a dentist appointment. Ugh.

Doggie driving lessons

Well, at least people in other countries do some incredibly stupid shit, too: Car crashes when woman lets dog take wheel.

Weird day

Today was a really weird day. I got some interesting news from someone, though I can't even allude to what it is. Suffice it to say that it was shocking in some ways, and not so shocking in other ways. I am supportive, but sometimes it's just hard to know how to categorize certain information, you know? Anyway, it was that kind of a day for more reasons than that. Just interesting stuff going on in the lives of people I know...

Shoe woes

As many a friend has pointed out, I have a wonderful collection of shoes. Tonight, L. and I went through every pair and I got rid of a few that I just never wear or that have inflicted their last blister on my poor feet. (And yes, I have a fabulous boyfriend to sit with me while I go through my shoe collection, no matter how boring it is to him - God bless that man!). However, there are a few pairs that I continue to keep and even wear, despite the fact that they end up killing my feet by the end of the day. Dumb, I know, but there is just something about heels that can make one's attitude quite spicy.

In any case, I always wondered how stars, such as Sarah Jessica Parker, could constantly wear such strappy heels and not want to cut their feet off at the end of the day. I was happy to see the comment in this picture gallery that even she admits that the Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo shoes have wreaked havok on her feet. So, it's not just me! Thank God.

I can say that I've been a big fan of the recent trend in flat shoes, even though I still go gaga over the heels in the shoe store. But, now that I intersperse flats and heels, things seem to be getting a little bit better. I just hope that designers continue to make cute flats for those of us who have done such damage to our feet by wearing adorable heels.

One year

So, it's been exactly one year since my marriage ended. Well, technically, since C. left - our divorce wasn't actually final until December. But, the day that he left really was the end for us, and the time was really just a formality of selling the house and getting through the waiting period for divorces in Washington state.

I took some time to reflect on things today and to think about how different my life is now than it was then. I think overall, this last year held some really wonderful things for me, and I'm definitely happier about my position in life than I was before.

L. asked me the other day whether or not I was still disappointed about my divorce. It was an interesting question, because on one hand I am disappointed and probably always will be in some way. The disappointment comes from the fact that I had to get divorced at all, especially when I wasn't even given the chance to try at all. The hardest part for me will just always be how it happened, and not that it happened. I don't really know how to explain that, but that's really what bothered me the most. You can get over a person, but sometimes it's just hard to get over the circumstances. And, of course, since my dad left my mom in a similar manner, I have double experience with these circumstances. So, the fact that I was able to move on at all is somewhat of a miracle to me.

I'll probably always have some doubts, but as my counselor said way back when (very wisely, I might add), love is, in the end, just a leap of faith. You can do all kinds of things to ensure that you don't repeat patterns in the next relationship, but there's never a guarantee. It kind of sucks that that's the best a trained professional can come up with, but it's true. So, as she said, you just accept it and move on, otherwise you miss out on all kinds of wonderful things. And it turned out that she was right. I might have missed out on L. and all of the wonderful experiences that we've had if I had decided to stay in a rut.

I think that where I am right now is really how my life is supposed to be and how I always wanted it to be, and I was just never going to have it this way with C. Being single opened up some doors for me, such as meeting people who I never would have met otherwise, and experiencing things on my own for the first time in my life. And I'm with someone now who enjoys spending time with me and makes me a priority in his life. I can't even begin to explain how great that feels. I didn't even know what I was missing until it hit me smack dab in the face. It's weird how you can be going along with the status quo so long that the deficiencies become the norm.

Anyway, it's been a tough year in a lot of ways, since grief doesn't always make sense. But, I made it through and had some really great things happen, which reminded me that when one door closes, another one will open. I'm still not sure if I'll ever entirely figure out what went wrong with C., but at least I'm closer to understanding myself and knowing what I need to be happy. And I guess that's the best lesson I could have learned from all of this.

Oh, and I'd just like to say thanks to all of my friends and family who stuck by me and helped me through the tough spots. I am definitely a lucky girl to have such great people in my life.

Outrage over picture of baby breast-feeding

The response to this picture on a parenting magazine is completely stupid. Are people really so uncomfortable with seeing the side of a mother's breast when she's feeding her infant?

I had to laugh at the following:

• One mother who didn't like the cover explains she was concerned about her 13-year-old son seeing it. "I shredded it," said Gayle Ash, of Belton, Texas, in a telephone interview. "A breast is a breast — it's a sexual thing. He didn't need to see that."
• "I'm totally supportive of it — I just don't like the flashing," she says. "I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see."
• "Gross, I am sick of seeing a baby attached to a boob," wrote Lauren, a mother of a 4-month-old.

I mean, seriously? People are seriously offended about this? Don't these people have lives? A breast doesn't always have to signify a sexual thing, and breast-feeding is natural. I've never seen a woman just whip it out in public. Most women try to be as discrete as possible, while serving the needs of their babies. I honestly can't understand how people would be so squeamish about such a thing.

Thoughts on teen pregnancy and legislative waste

The senate just passed a bill that would make it illegal for someone to help a girl cross state lines to have an abortion without parental consent. Bills like this raise many questions for me. Is there such a problem with teen pregnancy in areas that outlaw abortions that a large number of girls are affected? Or is this just a political ploy to get people outraged over an issue that is really almost a non-issue? If it's the former, then there is a larger problem of trying to address the issue at its root - dealing with teen sex, teen pregnancy, and ineffective parenting. If it's the latter, then it's just another waste of time that I'd rather not be paying for with my tax dollars.

If a teenage girl gets pregnant, doesn't that say something about her parents and their role in her life? At a high level, it makes sense to have parental consent, but I'm not sure that it's always feasible or even healthy when you dig deeper. Most of the people I have known who got pregnant in their teenage years were of the following situations:

• Girls whose parents were overbearing, thus forcing rebellion out of the girl in her attempt to regain some control over her own life.
• Girls whose parents didn't care enough to set any boundaries or could not enforce normal boundaries, in which case the girl got out of control.
• Girls whose parents were also teen parents, which usually meant that they were struggling to make ends meet and couldn't really raise their children effectively.
• Girls whose parents were abusive, physically and/or mentally.
• Girls who had no self esteem (for a variety of reasons) and were searching for acceptance through sex. Sometimes this also led to delusional thoughts of having a baby in order to experience unconditional love.

Of course, there are exceptions, but those buckets account for a lot of what I've seen in my 28 years. I had one friend my around my sophomore year of high school who always talked about how great it would be to have a baby, but not in that "someday" kind of way. She really wanted a baby sooner than that, even though she knew that family would flip. All I could really think of was how much work a baby is, and why would you voluntarily take on that responsibility in addition to preparing yourself to make a good living and be a successful adult? Luckily there was a sane part of her that won out, but the drive was really there and she was missing a lot in her life that she later figured out through counseling. I'm happy to say that she has done really well for herself, so I can't even begin to think about how different her life would have been had she gotten pregnant and had a baby.

I dunno. I look at all of the people and groups who think that abstinence is the answer to the teen pregnancy problem, and, I agree that abstinence really is the only way to avoid pregnancy altogether (save for Mary in the bible you know...). However, I disagree that abstinence alone is the answer, because although we are human, we still make mistakes and we still have the drive for sexual intimacy. That drive doesn't just pop up one day - it's with us, in our genetic make-up, since birth. I remember learning in a sexual psychology class at the UW that babies touch their genitals, because it feels good and sends pleasure responses to their brains. It isn't until they have the mental capability and the social construct to condemn the behavior that they realize it's "bad", and of course, that social construct is different depending on the culture involved. But in the social construct of the US, we're essentially trying to get an age group that is in the stages of development to always make the "right" choice, and that's just not always going to happen, especially when it's a matter of morals stemming from an artificial social construct versus a matter of innate urges stemming from nature.

Ignoring the problem by saying that abstinence is the only answer is just plain irresponsible. You have to teach kids to understand their options, and understand that if they do have sex there is a possibility of pregnancy and disease, the likelihood of which increase dramatically when no contraception is involved. No one really wants their teenagers to have sex, but that doesn't mean that teens won't have sex. But it is really up to the individual family to mitigate the outcome of those issues rather than waste taxpayer dollars on endless discussion and attempts to pass legislation. I'd rather they discuss ways to help parents have more services and tools available to them so that they could be more effective parents. That would alleviate a lot more than just teen pregnancy. Because, at the end of the day we're just not all going to agree on these moral issues, and I don't think it's the job of the government to make moral policies - that is the job of families and local communities.

The South Park "Spontaneous Combustion" Episode

"On this blessed Friday, let us give thanks for stuff and things. Lord, is it so much to ask that you not let us suddenly burst into flame for no apparent reason? I mean, come on! Amen."