Difficult to explain

How would you go about explaining that you are a scientist working on creating artificial penises? Can you imagine the introduction at a dinner party?

"Hi, I'm Randy. I create artificial penises for rabbits in a lab."
"Hi Randy. I'd shake your hand, but..."

It reminds me of that part in the movie Clerks where Dante and Randall are watching the high school guidance counselor perform the egg endurance test. A woman comes up to the counter and explains the odd behavior, then ends with, "It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."

Man, that movie had a plethora of great quotes...